Impatience within patience

I am a very impatient woman when it comes to future possibilities. I believe in chances and good intentions (niat). Those things (good efforts) that Allah likes, He would bless them, therefore all will lead to great results in the future, inshallah–if Allah will it. So, if you already have a good niat, good plan,…

Hope

Some sadness came so hard, it’s overwhelming. My heart darken and the cloud over my eyes started to rain. Rivers appeared, streaming down my face. Unbearable at some point. The thunder struck makes me feel like I want to give up. Need to. Not that I don’t trust God is suffice for me–I do. He…

Saya Penulis, Bukan Pendusta

Jelang Ramadhan 12, tetiba teringat beberapa mantan yang menuding saya gombal, bahkan “mengarang indah” alias berbohong, ketika saya mendeskripsikan perasaan kekaguman terhadap mereka. Tudingan itu didasari alasan bahwa saya penulis. Hmmm.. mereka ngga tau, ucapan begitu sebenernya menyakitkan hati saya, berkali-kali lipat, karena merekalah yang mengatakannya. From all people in this world, mereka adalah orang…

What life is for me

I woke up unhappy today. I laughed at something, only to realize that I was laughing to myself. Laugh at my stupidity. Being a dreamy girl as I always be. Do you know what life is all about for me? Life is a constant boat-rowing in the open ocean, and I’m carrying important baggages, the…

Diejek, marah? Ngga (lagi) tuh

Diledekin, marah? Itu sih berabad lalu, saat saya masih muda dan bodoh. Sekarang, setiap saya diledekin, ya ikutan tertawa. Kalau ledekannya benar (misal, Nina gendut, ih, tua lagi…, dst) ya ngapain marah, lha memang begitu kenyataannya. Mending ikutan ketawa, biar tambah asyik dunia. Nah, gimana kalau ledekannya salah (misal, Nina ini udah kaya raya, cantik,…

Khianat

Bagian terberat melepaskan sebuah hubungan adalah rasa “terbiasa ada dia” di hati. Sebijaknya, hargai pasangan. Tak ada yang gratis di dunia ini, termasuk cinta, dan keputusan utk tetap mempertahankan cinta. Menaruh kepercayaan pasca dikhianati mantan, apalagi sampai ke tahap mengundang orang baru tsb ke dalam hati dan kehidupan kita, adalah suatu proses yang amat sangat…

Am I weak?

Sometimes when I am at the lowest point in my life, it makes me wonder, if God is there sitting on The Arsy, is He really watching over me? Because sometimes I feel like this burden I carry is too great, I am spent. I am no longer certain this trial is here to strengthen…

I miss you, mommy

‚ÄčTo be perfectly honest, I envy people who are able to take their aged moms for a walk. I, we, never had such privilege. But then again, my mom always says, she doesn’t want to age and be a nuisance for her children and grand children. Surely, Allah granted her wish, even if it costs…

Let Go and Let God

I used to think I should control everything that happens in my life, so that I’d live my life easier, and happier. I avoided frictions. I tried hard to make people liked me. I was so busy putting myself in this “spot light” so people would agree with me. Guess what, I was NOT happy….

pasca cerai, berikutnya apa?

Tulisan ini sudah cukup lama saya konsep, tapi tak pernah menemukan waktu tepat untuk mempostingnya.¬† Awal Oktober 2016, tepatnya. Bermula dari salah seorang sahabat saya yang saat itu mengalami kejadian ditalak suaminya. Sahabat saya ini begitu galau menghadapi fase pasca talak. Mulai dari rasa takut hidup sendirian lagi sampai merasa tak tahan menghadapi konflik dengan…

poor kitty :(

I was walking from a Puskesmas (Pusat Kesehatan Masyarakat, Indonesian government general clinic, per residency) to go back to the office when I met this stray cat. Local breed, but she has such a beautiful mixed color, orange-ish, fur. She was domesticated, I believe. Because when I called her, “Puss, tsk tsk tsk” with my…