It’s true that death doesn’t come by age. First, my mom. She was 58. A year later, my grandma. She was 77. And last night, my cousin. He was 4.

My mom, Ida Husein died of a heart attack. She died merely an hour after feeling a massive chest pain. Finally a stroke hit her, and she died a minute later. We never had the chance to say good bye, or see you later, thank you for everything, and I love you, Mom.

My grandma, Siti Aisjah died of a long time illness along with an alzheimer that turned worse by day. She has it since 1999. She was a healthy, happy and extremely kind soul. Her wise words to me was consistent, “Nina, I may not leave you fortune, but this advice: fulfill your five times a day pray, be good, and shaum (fast) regularly. That’s my legacy.” It’s hard, Oma, but I am doing it. Thank you for your loving hands that nurtured me. Thank you for the amazing cooks you made. I am your oldest grandchild and I will live in your legacy.

And my cousin, Naufal Fadhilan Rizq Naufal. He was a strong young boy. He died after battling with meningitis and hydrocephalus this last one year. I don’t think he lost this battle. He won, gloriously. Allah helped him winning it. And now he’s in peaceful place. No more pain, no more tears. He’s waiting for his parents to come, and inshallah, Allah will allow them to enter jannah (heaven) together. Aamiin..

If I died, I hope I will see them all: Mom, Oma, Naufal. If I do, I know I’m going to the best place a human can be. Aamiin..