A note for my daddy

Hey, Dad.

My bus just went through The HI circle in central Jakarta. Seeing the row of vegetations somehow remind me something. I remember walking down that street, maybe 33-34 years ago, with Mom. I was obviously still a little kid back then, holding on Mom’s hand. We were swimming in the Pool of Hotel Indonesia. I don’t know if I remember this correctly, but I’m 100% sure of this, that you are an excellent swimmer. You can even do that attraction I loved: handstand on the swimming pool bed, and both your legs way up to the surface. Remember that, Dad? And I think it was so totally cool! I still DO think it’s so cool. Can you still do that, Dad?

Dad, I’ve been breathing this worldly air for almost 39 years now already. With all those up and down times, over, and over, and over again. But never in my life have I met a man as nearly cool as you. And you know precisely, that every daughter’s first love is their dad. I know you may not the most perfect man on earth, but you are the perfect father for me. And I love you for that. All your greatness, all your possible flaws, I am loving you anyway.

Ah, see, I’m writing this for no reason whatsoever. I’m just being sentimental. Yes, I turned out am a sentimental and romantic woman. Just like you, Dad. Mom once said so; that you are the most romantic and smooth with words type of man she ever knew.

You know, Dad. I may not tell you and Mom enough of this, but I love you guys so much. Thank you for loving me and raising me with the best way and efforts you both can do. I miss Mom, but she’s already at peace in the afterlife with angels and God, I’m sure. And you are the only parent I have now. That’s why I need to make sure, have I made you proud enough, Dad?

You never expected me to be somebody I am not; as long as I am happy, just go with it, that’s what you taught me. But, I know you expect better of me. I’m sorry if I somehow haven’t met your expectations yet, Dad. I will be better. I will do better.

I love you, Dad.

Take care in Bali, okay? I will visit you soon, inshallah.

*A note for my Daddy, Syahrazad Jazir. I wrote it on the bus. 😀

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