“Are you sure, you’re ready for love again?”
“Are you sure he’s the one?”
“Are you sure he’s worth your heart?”
“Don’t fall in love so easily. Love is the most expensive thing in the world.”
“Don’t love with 100% of you heart. Keep at least 70% of it, so you won’t be hurt when things don’t work out well.”
“Don’t fall in love. Use your head. Be rational.”
And the lines flow more and more the past couple of months. It’s been said by my sisters, family and good friends. They were so scared I’m bumped and bruised again. They were so concerned that I would heartbroken, black and blue all over again. As if I never learned.
One thing they don’t know is that I found out that I am created for love. Allah made me to love. Allah destined me to be a compassionate person. I live for love. I love for live. No one would understand this though. They thought I am that little girl with no experience whatsoever, or that they think of me as a woman who doesn’t learn from her past experience. 🙂
Ah, it doesn’t matter what they think. I know what I am. I know who I am. Not that I am blind or blinded by the feeling of love. Nor the urge to feel love. Not at all. I am simply made so tough that I could love again, even though I’ve been bruised and bumped, black and blue before.
If there’s something I learned from my past mistakes is that how to love better, wiser and stronger.
I don’t blame those ladies or gents who stopped from believing in love, because they hit the “wall” in their lifetime. I don’t blame them, really. Not even laugh at them.. Oh, I know how hurt it was, Brothers and Sister! Don’t doubt when I said that I KNOW how hurt it feels. I’ve been married twice and experienced my kids taken away from me—and nothing worse than children taken from their mothers.
There are hundreds of nights I wish I can give up. I have said hundreds of times that I no longer believe in love.
“Love is a bullshit. It doesn’t exist.”
“It’s just a hallucination.”
“There is no love. Only lust!”
“There’s no such thing called love.”
And when I shouted those words, actually I realized, I was lying.
Yes. I lied.
I was so mad, so furious that I pretended to believe something that I never believed in the first place. Because THERE IS LOVE. At least, THERE WAS.
I’m saying this not because I am in love with someone. Well, I’m in love indeed, every single day. With my children. With my family. I’m in love with my work. With my workmates. With my friends. I’m in love with my life. And most of all, I’m in love with my God. But each of them are having different kind of love from me though.
What can I say other than LOVE IS LIFE and LIFE IS LOVE. That’s, at least, what I believe.
I’m not trying to ask you to do the same thing with me. Everybody has their own destinies. We might be destined differently. But, one thing I can tell you is that, don’t be afraid to love.
What to be afraid of, really? That you’ll be hurt? Hey, if you choose not to touch love, would you really be alright with that? Won’t your soul crave for “the love”? Because love is the food for the soul and EVERYBODY has soul.
Being wounded, being hurt, being in pain because of love, it all the consequences. Everything has its own consequences, right? Even when you’re like eating a candy bar, you get the consequences of having toothache or even get fat. And being in love is similar to eating a candy bar. But, in order to reduce the consequences–the chance to get hurt, brush your teeth after eating one. Don’t eat it all at once. Eat slowly. And if you’re afraid to get fat because of eating candy, then do simple work out!
The point is, if you want to enjoy the sweetness of love and reduce the risk to get hurt, love wisely. Be smart about it. Manage it.
I’m not going to lie: it won’t be easy. No one knows the future. No one knows if he/she is the one, or not. You’ll never know if this time you’d succeeded or ended up falling apart, again. But you can do your best to love your man/woman like you love yourself, AND MORE.
Stop expecting so highly, because expectation is the source of disappointment. Stop try to change him/her like you want him/her to be. Accept their bests AND worsts. Be there with him/her both in their great and awful times.
And forget what other people say about you two. Ignore what they want you to do with that love. Just listen to your heart and ask it, “What do I want with this?” and DO IT, for heaven’s sake! 😀
Now, if you ask me, I never afraid to fall in love, even when I know I might get hurt again. At least I try. And at least I’ve done my best and learn something about it. But of course, like my late mom said, “Don’t love blindly.” Well, Mom, no. I don’t love blindly. I only love if I choose to. And before I DECIDE TO LET myself fall in love, I have to be sure if he’s worth my heart.
Of course it takes time and “practices” to make such an important decision. I made mistakes, sure. Many, many, many, many times. I stumbled, buried, crashed, burned, bruised, wounded, you name it, I’ve had it. Hey, I’m not perfect. Nobody is. What makes you worthy is that you LEARN from your mistakes. Be it you’re a slow-learner, or fast-learner, doesn’t matter. What matter is that you learned and do better next time.
But sometimes, love is not something you can choose to do or don’t, decided or not. Sometimes LOVE CHOSE YOU, and you have NO IDEA why you’re chosen. The next thing you know, you’re spending your lifetime figuring out WHY, WHAT’S THE REASON. It’s the mystery of life. God’s mystery, I shall say. But don’t you dare saying that it doesn’t feel good! 😀
But, oh, fall in love ALWAYS feels good alright. It motivates you. It gives you another reason to live. It give you reason to wake up cheerful in the morning and spread your shine to your surroundings. Perhaps, that’s the reason why God always touch us with the blessing of love, to spread the positive and to bring out the bests in you.
That’s why, I must say it again, don’t be afraid to love.
Okay, I’ve written too much, it started to shift out of focus. 😀 Just remember my words above. Spread the love. 😉