“You don’t understand me. Nobody does.”
The sentence above perhaps, the same classic argument between lovers or friends or family, around the world.
Apparently, not only in my country, Indonesia, people made this “you don’t understand me” reason become the pivotal issue for two, or more, people to quarrel each other.
To me, personally, it’s the lamest argument, ever. In fact, blatantly speaking, I STRONGLY dislike such sentence.
Why?
First of all, I hate quarreling. I mean, come on, don’t you think we are all too old to even do some quarrels like teenagers? I really think that adults should sit down, face to face, looking straight to the eyes, and communicate! Talk reasonably and logically. Stop talking about feelings–unless you are expressing how you love the person you are talking to.
Secondly, how the hell such sentence could be validated as an argument at all? This “understand me” thing is very selfish! I never wanted to be understood. Because if I wanted anyone to understand what I mean, I will explain it first to them, loud and clear.
And what makes you think I’m a paranormal? If you don’t explain yourself, or explain to me what you want or need from me, how can I know? If I didn’t know, how can I understand it? Life is not a guessing game!
In my younger time, I met a lot of boyfriends who demanded me to be more understanding to them. But then, they didn’t even give me a single clue of what they wanted or needed. And when I didn’t do what they want, they started to pout and saying, “You don’t understand me.”
Helloooo.. Who do you think your girlfriend is? A paranormal? I ain’t no paranormal. Get a grip on yourself.
^_^
Well, some might find I’m a cold-hearted bitch, but no Sir, I am not. I’m a rational woman. I think with my head, not with my heart. But I do FEEL with my heart, not with my head.
If you’re saying that, “you don’t understand me”, of course I will never understand you. Or perhaps, I will understand a little bit, thanks to experiences and fast-learning of one’s situation. But it’s all standard understanding.
If you wanted me to understand you a little more specific: about yourself, then TALK to me. COMMUNICATE with me. EXPLAIN me about yourself. I will take a careful note in my head, and my heart. So next time we’re facing something in the future, I will know what to do with you.
Simple, right? ^_^
Anyways, if I loved someone very much, I will automatically look deep within his soul. I’m feeling and attaching my heart into his heart, so I can learn him. Learn to understand him. He won’t need a lot of words to explain himself. He just need to tell me his personal life and experience, what he likes and don’t like, then I will know what to do next with his heart. And in that case, I will use my woman’s intuition. Trust me, woman’s intuition is never wrong.
So, guys, do us–ladies–a favor. If you wanted us to understand you: start COMMUNICATING. ^_^
Neferland 
Yep, great post. Why do we let our emotions dictate our actions with others? Listen, I’m guilty of it too. It took a lot of reading, a lot of soul searching, and working through some tough stuck denial to realize most of my negative emotions are rooted in past events. What the heck? It’s the past! Why am I goimg to let some long lingering emotion from a past event make me feel insecure, angry, jealousy, or anything else? I try to start the day with a clean slate. I even try to erase it again throughout the day. We were created to love, yet we fall into the same trap of bitterness, pride, and betrayl. You have a beautiful soul Nina!
Awww.. thank you for dropping by and sent me a wonderful message.. *hugs*
Oh, you’ve said it all. My thought exactly. Thank you! ^_^
It’s amazing that you’ve also reached the point of such realization and begin to do soul searching and self-contemplating–they are two of the most difficult things to do in one’s life, by the way. But it does pay off handsomely in the future, right? (Yes, I’ve been there too.) Most of us, women and men, still stuck on pride. It’s like a neverending battle! But I’m glad some of us, at least you and I, have passed that test. Yay for us! ^_^
Thank you for saying that I have a beautiful soul. Only people with the same beautiful soul able recognize each other, and I recognize you. ^_^
I hope we can be friends, not only here on cyber life, but also real life. Keep in touch! *hugs*
What a beautiful response! Thank you for lifting me up! Of course we cam be friends! xoxo
Yay! Thank you, my friend! ^_^ ❤
woot!
Nice post, where I live it’s generally the opposite, women are the ones who communicate less, maybe men of my country have problem expressing their emotions but not their needs or thoughts (but that was the old generation), women in the other side don’t dare talk about what they want, a common situation with a girlfriend here for example, you meet your girlfriend she is upset with you, you’ve no idea why, when you ask her she would answer: “why don’t you figure it yourself ” ! Sure the boyfriend did something wrong, he didn’t pay attention to or just forgot it, like forgetting a birthday (I know this one is big lol) or not calling to ask about her ill mother .. but why complicate life, why not just go straight and tell him, then a good boyfriend will be sorry and correct the shot. I totally agree with the general idea of communication, and I love this sentence: “life is not a guess game”.
Wow.. Thank you, Adel.
To be honest, most Indonesian young women are as “mysterious” as your women too. Only mature women (and by saying mature, I meant that it has nothing to do with age) can speak up clearly of what they want, not want, like or dislike. In my teen age, I was like that too. But then I realized, my act troubled people who tried to figure me out. And when one is trying to figure me out, most likely, they’d fail. That way, I lost my chance of having good communication with good people. So, since then, I erased such attitude. Because simply, I don’t want to hurt other people with my selfishness, ever again.
By the way, it’s good to have you around. Keep shining, Adel. ^_^