I found you, and I lost you

Remember you will TRY to take me to lavender field. 🙂

I found you. Not on purpose.
It was like meant to be. As if destiny led me.
I found you. Didn’t expect you to say hello afterward.
And didn’t think I’d reply straight away either.
Never even dreamed this would lead my walk onto something..
Something called love.

I found you. God, yes, I found you.

The connection of you and I happened naturally.
As if we knew each other for thousands of years already.
You and I, we speak the same language. And it’s not English I am talking about.
You and I, we speak the language of the heart.

At that moment, I realize, I did not only find you.
I also found a new meaning of life.
I found a new course to the road of happiness.
I found my home. I found my soulmate. I found the love of my life.

Your wisdom stunned me. Your horizon amazed me. Your brightness amused me.

It was official: I adore you.

And since I’m a woman of “heart within words”, I don’t hide my feelings.
I told you everything I felt. As honest as I can.
As many times as I can,
So that you know that every time we talk, the feeling is multiplying.

Despite of my situation,
I’m in love with a young man I never met before.
In love with a young man I never laid my eyes on before.
But, I love you. I really do.
I’m in love with your thoughts. Your heart. Your soul.
Your lonely soul.
Yes, I saw darkness and weariness inside your bitter soul,
but I love you still.

At that time, I decided, nothing you did, do, and would do, will make me love you less.

I love you like the air fulfilling your lungs.
I love you the warmth wrapping your body.

I love you like a bird to the sky, a fish to water
and a tree to the ground.

I love you with all my heart and soul.

I love you both irrationally and rationally.
And if you ask why do I love you, I don’t have the answer.
I just do.
It’s like I was meant to.
It’s like I was born to do just that.

But the path I have crossed to find you is not a smooth one.
Even so, I cherish every moment I’m spending with you,
Even with this kind of way.
It doesn’t matter to me.
I feel happy already. And it makes me love you more.

I’m not worry of things that will happen in the future.
All I know is right now.
I love you right now, and I intend to love you tomorrow
and the day after, and the years after,
until my time on earth is up.

It’s alright if you don’t feel the same.
We will take baby steps, and I can only hope
that one day you will fall in love with me too.

But, 25 days after I found you, I lost you.
Over couples of misunderstanding and miscommunicating.
I tried to convince you, but you toss me away.
I tried to reach you, but you shut me out.
Barricaded me. As if my presence disgusted you.
You left in angry. You’re gone.
Left me hanging. Confused. Sad.
Broken hearted

I tried to walk away to different direction, but, somehow, something keeps me.
Something is calling me. Asking me to stay.
So, I couldn’t go.

Maybe I’m only fooling myself. Maybe you’re playing me.
Maybe. But it doesn’t matter.
All I know is that I’m bounded by my promises to you.
Even though my promises are none of your business and not your responsibility.
You might lose interest to even know me and not trusting me anymore.
But here I am, still. Standing. Waiting..

Waiting for nothing..

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