I woke up unhappy today. I laughed at something, only to realize that I was laughing to myself. Laugh at my stupidity. Being a dreamy girl as I always be.
Do you know what life is all about for me?
Life is a constant boat-rowing in the open ocean, and I’m carrying important baggages, the amanah: My children. We’re doing okay as far as my concern. But as the only person who rows the boat, all I need is a dock to land, and hopefully to stay for good, since I get sick and tired being in the open ocean for far too long already.
But such thing is a luxury that I, clearly, can never afford.
Two docks, two storms, and two severe damages I received. All I could do is to flee, to protect these baggage the best I can. So the journey–rowing the boat–continue.
I swear (and, by Allah, I don’t swear often!) even Allah knows, I don’t need this world. Material things, glamorous stuffs, money, gold, gems, or jewelry never blinded me. I don’t need them–well, I do need some to live and pay the bills, but it never a priority, you know what I mean… 😁
Only the beauty of the nature owned me, because Allah in all of them, each one of them.
And again, the only one I need in this life is a dock, to rest, live normally, complete, and insyaa Allah happier.
But, then again, if Allah wanted me to be the sailor I always have been, then so be it. I will row until the end of me.