ache

The past two days, I’ve been crazy busy. Working stuff. Attending a seminar and helped my mates at our exhibition. But it doesn’t matter. I always love working hard and give it all my “totality”. ^_^

breaksBut something made my breath heavier.
Another misunderstanding.
Another “fight”.
Another judgment.
Another ache.

This is the point where I reach
a full intention to let go.
Perhaps this is the best.
For him, especially.

I know I promised him to never give up
for I do love him so much.
But, it seems like my will to never let go
would bother him a lot due to my situation.

I may say “I love you” thousands of times,
and yet he’ll never believe that
without questioning: How can a person has two hearts–
one to the man she marries and the other one to the soul she really loves.

If only he knew,
my heart is only one.
It is MINE to give to whomever I want.

And I gave it to him.

Alas, he threw it away. Trash it.

Here, I silently picked up this dying heart he dumped.
Holding my breath,
for every time I inhale the air froze my lungs.
And when I exhale, it burns.
Tried to hold my tears to no avail.
Several drops of my silent tears escaped my eyes,
and bloody tears spilled out my heart.
And, suddenly everything that goes my throat
became extremely hard to swallow.

I almost lost the will to live.

But life ain’t simple. Especially mine.
Broken hearts happen, all the time.
I will try to move on,
leaving everything to God’s care,
because right now I’m broken.

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