My dearest Mommy,
In heaven..

Were you thinking of me
The moment you’re leaving your body

Were you thinking of me
The moment you realize the life contract has ended

Were you thinking of me, Mommy?

Even though you have prepared us
for the worst thing that may happen
Including losing you
Still, nothing prepared us for this pain
The thought of unable to see your smile again
And never to hear those loud laughters of yours
Broke my heart into pieces.
I will never feel your warm hands, soothing words and relaxing hugs ever again, Mom.

I know you always think that I’m your toughest daughter,
You said I’m the smartest, wisest and strongest,
The truth is, I am not, Mommy.
I am all those because you motivated me,
You suggested and inspired me.
But you are no more, what should I do now, Mommy?
I’ve no place to return to,
I’ve no place to talk to,
You were the representative of God,
Now that you are no more,
What should I think, Mommy?

I know you would say, “Keep going, sweety. Keep living strong. Be patient, God never leave your side.”
Mommy, I wish I were as strong as you in life.
I wish I possessed your wisdom,
I wish I were as beautiful as you were inside and outside, Mommy..
Eventhough you always say,
“Life may not as beautiful as one’s faces..”
But still you were the most beautiful, the most fun, the strongest, the most loving person we knew, inside and out.

Were you thinking of me?
Are you thinking of me?
I miss you, Mommy.
*recite al-fatihah*